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faustgfx · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 2:12 am

eagle. just for you.

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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected]
icq#35983387
http://faustgfx.0wns.org (soon)

shahar2k · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 5:16 am

faust, a mind is a terrible thing to waste... a shot to the neck causes much more pain!

seroiusly though, Dhab, as much as I agree that some people should be censored, (de-flamed?) can you at least clue us in as to the reason you censored him? now I come in, and read nothing and can't tell what I missed, now I'm one that cannot get offended by nearly ANYTHING, but nothing to me is more offensive than being denied something, no matter what it is.

anyways not that I'm justifying Faithin, however I'd rather have a clue as to what he did wrong.

Spitfire · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 5:25 am

He was saying not-so-nice things about women in general and enayla specifically.

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Sincerely yours, I�ve disowned us.

shahar2k · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 5:51 am

ok, now see, that was sufficient.

I'm just a real anti censorship jerk, no matter what the information is, if you deny one person's right to bring forth their Ideas, then you've denyed everyone's right.
I'm writing yet another philosophy campfire (heh thanks Nex, I believe, for starting the first) about fear, and I believe you should come there, cus I think fear is really the root of all these problems, especially things like low self esteem, and just that bumbling fealing you get with girls.

I hope to go into more detail in that thread
http://www.sijun.com/dhabih/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000868.html

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Maybe I'm paranoid... maybe it's you!

Thorn · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 7:40 pm

quote:
If you deny one person's right to bring forth their Ideas, then you've denyed everyone's right.

To me the anti-censorship argument is basically about the concept of freedom and the right to express ideas. I sympathise with you're viewpoint Shahar. Whenever I see something censored, a morbid curiosity kicks in and I think 'what, what, what'd I miss'? But I also believe freedom means freedom from gender, class and/or racially-based hate messages in public forums. This second aspect of freedom has a direct bearing on the quality of life experienced by woman, people with an African background, migrants, the disabled, and so forth. If some limits aren't set, some action taken, not only are we asking people to tolerate abuse, we are also tacitly condoning its use.

So I s'pose what I'm trying to say is, I'm really glad Dhabih purged that stuff.

[This message has been edited by Thorn (edited December 30, 2000).]

Thorn · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 7:50 pm

Ooops.

[This message has been edited by Thorn (edited December 29, 2000).]

above · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 10:46 pm

Hey spit I as well have a severe case of The Alligator Smile, I think so at least.

And look at FaithinChaos's nick Faith in "Chaos". Just something to think about.

Periadam · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 11:26 pm

as for all you "oh no, the woman I love just wants to be FRIENDS!?" people. I do have one suggestion: try not waiting so long before attempting to begin a relationship with her. if she is truly interested in you at that point, she will date you. if she says "lets just be friends" then it means she doesn't like you that way. flirty doesn't mean a damn thing.

I do realize that this at times is impossible, but it's a good thing to do in the future. because if you get to be very good friends with her, she may not wish to risk that friendship with a romantic relationship. as many of you probably know, that kind of thing can ruin a friendship forever.

i for example have been dating my b/f for about 3 months, and we'd been good friends for about 4 months before that. I initiated our relationship because I knew he wouldn't, and if I waited any longer, I knew I might not want to risk our friendship, which is really the best that I've ever had.

so, some advice for the future. ignore it if you like, but I wouldn't advize it.

and good luck to everybody. :)

Bubonic · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 1:13 pm

You should be able to tell in the first few mins that you meet a girl if she likes you.. or just likes you...as a friend..

Some people can't tell, heck, sometimes i can't.. Don't just tell a girl you like her in the first 10 min you meet her.. i say wait like 30 mins.. j/k...

Give it a few days, maybe weeks.. And if she does like you back you can see what kinda person she is before you get yourself into a relationship that you regret being in later..

Like what happened to me.. Sad story really..

I met this girl in my school i was 16 and she just turned 15.. we talked and stuff, and she asked me out.. She looked good.. so I said yes.. Boy was that a mistake..

She got on my nerves soo many times.. I just didn't want to deal with.. In the end, like a month later....

I broke up with, she called me a bastard and all the cozzy warm feelin words you could think of..

I decided to be friends with her though, but i see that as a mistake now.. because she calls my house like 3x a day.. and i just don't have the heart to say.. "Hey get off me nuts!" i wanna say it nicer.. But i just can't dead her completely.. Any suggestions??

Bubonic · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 1:20 pm

Oh yeah, i forgot to mention, just because a girl looks good doesn't mean she will make a good g/f.. I used to think, if she looks good, screw it, thats all i need!! i was completely WRONG!

They tend to flirt a lot and stuff.. And if you go out with a girl, make sure you set the ground rules.. i know it sounds stupid but it might come back later to get ya..

faustgfx · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 2:18 pm

yeah well men can't even rely on good looks.

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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected]
icq#35983387
http://faustgfx.0wns.org

Periadam · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 2:42 pm

Bubonic: Depending on the type of person she is, there's probably no way that you can say it that wouldn't hurt her feelings. And its going to be hard doing that, but of course you can say it in a nicer way.

Maybe blame it on your parents. Say like, "My 'rents are really pissed because I'm hogging the phone so much. I'll get in deep shit if you don't stop calling so often."

or if you don't want to do that, just wait a while and in a few months she'll have pissed you off so much that you won't care what you'll have to say to get her off your back.

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There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity--if you get away with it, you are brave, if you don't, you are stupid

Peri.

Enayla · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 3:02 pm

I don't like the term "ground rules"...

I don't like to think anyone (boyfriend or not) could actually set /rules/ for me.

It makes me feel as if I were a dog, to be taught to sit prettily and wag my tail when told to do so.

I had a boyfriend who told me I couldn't have male friends because it made him jealous. If he's jealous (or you are, when you're out clubbing with your cute girlfriend) it isn't MY problem, it's his. Jealousy is NOT a good thing (it's one of the most despicable emotions I know).

Don't set ground rules. Learn to accept what people are like. It's that easy - you did the right thing, dumping her when your ways obviously did not match... that instead of trying to change her :/

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��Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change��

shahar2k · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 3:44 pm

I dunno enyala, I'm not sure he meant that as ground rules... I'd like to think that rules in a relationship can only exist mutually, so instead of telling you not to date guys because it made him jealous he could have just told you he gets jealous and left it for you to decide, then again I'm just weird that way

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Maybe I'm paranoid... maybe it's you!

Enayla · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 3:54 pm

shahar2k: Perhaps he did

I'm... kinda weird that way. I guess I freak out a bit every time someone talks about "setting down the rules", because there was a guy that almost managed to pull that trick on me.

I wasn't dating guys. Not at all.

I do happen to be the kind of girl that has a lot of male friends, though, and when I'm out dancing - I talk to people if they talk to me. I'm friendly with my friends, sometimes (often) guys mistake that for flirting.

I don't know what I'm trying to say...I'm sorry if it sounded like I was accusing Bubonic of something - that wasn't my intent... I just got worried about the use of "ground rules", and I felt I needed to say something :/

I ramble.

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��Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change��

Bubonic · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 3:58 pm

Your right Enayla.. The whole ground rules things is a bad way about going things.. But i see it more like, just telling the person that you won't stand for any crap like flirting and all that.. Some people just let it happen and ignore it.. And some don't put up with with.. Like me.. I got tired of it.. Cause she flirted with guys when i was right there..

I wouldn't call it ground rules. .Probably more along the lines of putting everything out in the open in the beginning.. Like stuff you won't stand for.. I'm sorry if i came across harsh..

Funny thing is while i was reading the replys on the forum.. My phone rang.. and guess who.... yup.. it was her.. i couldn't help but laugh..

She told me some dumb story and blah.. I didn't really say anything.. She asked me why wasn't i talking.. And i told her because there is nothing to talk about.. She told me to call her when i was in a "better mood".. I just don't have nothing to talk to her about, ive talked to her a total of like 10 hours over like a 5 day period.. Im all talked out damnit..

Bah, anyway im 17 now.. and she is still 15.. so the age thing bothers me.. I ain't taken her to my prom.. HAH

Bubonic · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 4:01 pm

Periadam,

thanks for the advice.. I wouldn't mind her callin me like once a week honestly.. or not at all really..

But when i tell her, it will be the truth..

my other ex that broke up with me never gave me a real reason why she broke up with me.. or at least i don't believe it.. And i really liked her...

And if you don't wanna talk to someone anymore, the least you can do is just be honest with them.. I wish she woulda told me.. ah well.. life goes on..

Its cool that i can vent to you guys/girls..

People like Faith are like 100% sure they got girls figured out.. Guys like him make things all the harder for a guy like me to get a girl to trust me..

[This message has been edited by Bubonic (edited December 30, 2000).]

absinthe · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 4:15 pm

isn't this thread dead YET?

maybe someone should just start a new one...5 pages is getting up there.

shahar2k · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 4:59 pm

why start over when it's such a great thread? everyone can relate to what's going on here

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Maybe I'm paranoid... maybe it's you!

faustgfx · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 5:03 pm

too bad the battle for the most pathetic fucks title is way out of your league

[edit, learn to type, dorkgfx]

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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected]
icq#35983387 http://faustgfx.0wns.org

[This message has been edited by faustgfx (edited December 30, 2000).]

FaithInChaos · member Member # Joined: 27 Aug 2000 Posts: 183

faustgfx i might deserve a lot of things, but i dont think you are the one to be making judgements on what i deserve or do not deserve...

maybe you didnt understand it the first time...the lets just be friends line is vague and insulting, if the they were really your friend they would tell you the truth...and that would be im not sexually attracted to you, you smell, i only date black guys, or i am sexualy attracted to you but because you are one poor mutha fucker you have no chance in hell.

lets just be friends is weaker than the aborted offspring of enayla (with her feminist attitude) and faustgfx (with his gothic b.s.)

faustgfx · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 11:28 pm

looking at the last 5 posts of yours i've seen (before this one, which surprisingly, is almost readable text) from you, your fingers should be cut off in the very first place.

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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected]
icq#35983387
http://faustgfx.0wns.org

SlightlyTwisted · Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2000 3:44 am

Personally, I think Ground Rules are stupid. In fact, I think they're why most relationships aren't as deep, or as trusting, as they could be.

Let's say I fall in love with a girl. Why should I want her to suddenly follow a new pattern of rules? If I had any sense, (which I do

) I'd just be thankful she let me love her, and I'd want her to continue acting the way she already was. I wouldn't want to interfere with her life in anyway, making her change her ways, because that would just make me a burden. I'd want her to continue on with her life as normal. After all, that's who I fell in love with. I wouldn't want her to change her ways, because then she'd be somebody else. I wouldn't want us to treat each other one way or another because a set of 'rules' say so... I'd want us to do it because we respect and, with any luck, love each other. The second you lay expections on someone you're seeing that you wouldn't already have outside of the relationship, you're dooming yourself to a bitter, bloody end.

Of course, another reason why some people 'need' ground rules is that they fall in love with their looks, and so no peramiters are in place when it comes to dealing with their personality, so they need a 'guide'. But then, if they think that's love, then they deserve, in my most humble of opinions, everything they get. "Love at first sight" isn't love. It's lust. And relationships based on lust rarely survive differences in personality.

But that's just my opinion.

Enayla · Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2000 5:03 am

FaithInChaos: Bah. I'm not a feminist. You, however, are everything but a man - I'm beginning to realise that now

So you're excused.

SlightlyTwisted: Right on

I think you and I have pretty similar views on that, obviously.

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��Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change��

Ragnarok · Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2000 6:21 am

I agree that "rules" are not good, but if in a relationship you go by the maximun "everything is valid" or "everything is ok" you will find problems. Big problems.
In my opinion when you stablish a serious relationship you should talk seriously with that other person and set together some principles, something you both think you should do or not do. If you just try to accept everything you will end in a bad way. Some things are bad, some are not, but we can't accept both.

SlightlyTwisted · Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2000 6:56 am

See, 'anything goes' is not what I meant. Not at all.

What I meant was, instead of dictating (and following) rules, all you need is a healthy amount of respect and common sense, two attributes that shockingly many people in the world are sorely lacking.

Ragnarok · Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2000 7:24 am

You know, common sense is the least common of the senses.

Bubonic · Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2000 8:31 am

Lol Ragnarok, you right about the common sense thing..

I guess it all comes down to if your in a relationship.. is there a good foundation or not?

Become friends first, but not for too long that the feelings die away and you can't see the person as anything else...

Its not like were in 5th grade anymore and you ask out a girl before you even know her name..

A mature relationship demands more than that. Getting to know the person before you go out with them.. Sounds so obvious, but i still see it happen and im a Senior in High School. Actually, I myself made that mistake..

And it all depends on what your lookin for..

Duckman2 · Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2000 2:54 pm

Yeah well this is quite the thread, but I'd just like to say that I've fallen in love with an absolutley spectacular one.

FaithInChaos · member Member # Joined: 27 Aug 2000 Posts: 183

Enayla

quote:

FaithInChaos: Bah. I'm not a feminist. You, however, are everything but a man - I'm beginning to realise that now So you're excused

your last post just proves my point further.
obviously you have bought into or have helped co-create the sterotype that male and female genders have to have certain "characteristics" in order for them to belong to a given sex.

from what i have seen you post, you are a feminist in denial. you probably dont realise it, because this attitude of yours is accepted/tolerated so much in our society.

if the only way you can try to insult me, is by attacking my sexuality i suggest you give up now; cause its not going to work. people who tend to put others down using: race, nationality, sexual identity, or gender; are not only prejudice, but its often a projection of their true feelings about themselfs.