[agent44]

My friend Katana sent me this profound e-mail the other day, I can't agree with him more.


Remember when we use to watch Star Wars all the time?
When was the last time you saw a Star Wars flick? Is
it possibly because the films don't hold the same . .
. aura? magic? clout? as they did yesteryear? As I was
growing up, individuals fanatical about Star Trek were
undisputedly "geeks" and "dorks." Sure there were
thousands-no, millions-who casually thought Star Trek
was a cool show, but their interest would never exceed
periodically watching the show, and thus keep them
with in the limits of "Normal." The Media had
perfectly labeled and identified those persons who did
exceed those limits, as well as conditioning everyone
else to ridicule them. A true Trekkie's life can not
be an easy one. But the sacred few that were loyal to
Lucas (myself included) were like the Fremen. There
were no Star Wars conventions where William Shatner
could stand up and ask those in attendance, point
blank, if they still lived with their mothers, or if
they have ever kissed a woman. We were the silently
cool creative ones. We did not dress up. We did not
have light sabers hanging from our belts. We did not
have our rooms full of Star Wars merchandise. Our
"memorabilia" consisted of a few precious treasures,
due to the fact that we were children when Star Wars
was in its original swing and foolishly loved, played,
and eventually destroyed our Star Wars toys. After
1985 there was nothing left, and when we realized that
our love for Star Wars did not dim with the buffets of
puberty we found ourselves scrambling to salvage "all
things Star Wars." We were the perfect fanatics cause
we were compleatly undetectable. You could tell
someone that you are a big Star Wars fan but it meant
nothing to them. You could even claim to be the
"Biggest Star Wars fan" and it still meant nothing. We
looked like them, we talked like them. We could move
in and out of a crowd and not be tracked. Though the
Star Wars films were block busters and everyone had
seen them, the rarity and esoteric nature of the beast
preserved the utmost noble coolness that was inherent
in the films (or maybe I should say in the Star War
universe). Then Star Wars fell victim to the most
perfect marketing strategy ever to impact our pop
culture. It was revealed that George Lucas was not
only a master storyteller but far better marketing
genius. He took Star Wars out from obscurity, teasing
and tantalizing every step, and let it off at the
point where the world was collectively wetting its
Yoda underoos cause it had to have more Star Wars.
Then and only then, George Lucas, with money in hand,
let the world have it. Whether or not Episode One is
a good movie or not, is often disputed, but
regardless, it is my opinion that no movie could of
held under the pressures of the "Media Frenzy" that
Lucas himself stirred up around "The Phantom Menace."
Sadly enough after the dust settled, and the hype
could no longer clouded the mind, "The Phantom
Menace" was a disappointment to most. The past of the
ominous Darth Vader was now tainted with Jake Loyd's
Anakin. We learned that no one is above "bathroom
humor." We were introduced to Jar Jar Binks. And the
mythos of the Force was stripped away by Midi
Calorians. Disappointment continued into the fan
front. Suddenly there were conventions, waves and
waves of merchandise, and the media forgot the
difference between a Trekkie and a Star Wars fan.
After stating the numbers for Episode One's opening
weekend, Dave Letterman commented, "Is there that many
28 year old men, living with their parents, who
haven't ever kissed a woman, in this country?" (That
was paraphrased.) The horrifying fact was that there
was no longer a difference between a Star Trek fan and
a Star Wars fan. Fanatical costumed Trekkie-esque
"Jedi" were poring out of the woodwork. As a Star
Wars fan, we could no longer move in and out of a
crowd undetected, we were were the crowd! Remember the
self-appointed "Jedi Council" with self-made badges
and homemade light sabers hanging from each of their
belts? The ones who decided that someone needed to
"organize" the line for Star Wars tickets, (as if
thousands of years of instinctual line forming
evolution might suddenly fail, and the teeming masses
might form some sort of circular grouping and the
"Jedi Council" possibly wouldn't get their tickets)
and they were just the Jedi for the job. Remember the
two young men who had choreographed a light saber
fight to entertain the audiences as they waited for
the film to start? I reel back in horror, to think
that I, Kohl Glass ever declared that I was one of, if
not the, "Biggest Star Wars fan there ever was." At
the time I declared it, I believed it to be true. I
quoted the movies continually, I watched them over and
over, I had read every Star Wars novel printed (at
that time the count was under ten.) I could not
picture anyone being a bigger fan . . . unless . . .
they were like Trekkies. BUT THAT IS NOT THE TRUE
NATURE OF A STAR WARS FAN!!! I was wrong. It
staggers me to think how wrong I was. With the
disappointment of the prequel and the true face of
Star Wars fandom revealed, I found myself turning
away. Now, it is hard for me to actually say, "I'm a
big Star Wars fan." I would much rather profess myself
as a "big fan" of old classic films, of independent
films, of foreign films, of the works of Alfred
Hitchcock, or of Wes Andersen. Anything that says
that I am not swayed by the mainstream, by hype, by
what others think and that I have kissed a woman. Here
is irony and hypocrisy, for if I truly was unswayed by
the mainstream, I would not be writing this. I have
realized that I sway away from it, not with it, but
regardless, I AM swayed. And despite the truth of
what I have written, I am, genetically, a Star Wars
fan. I know it when my heart is stirred when I watch
"Empire Strikes Back." I know it when I find myself
lingering in the action figure section of Wal-Mart. I
know it when I find myself reading the back of the
newest Star Wars novel at Boarders. I know it when my
attention is instantly riveted to any Star Wars
reference. I know it because I adore Star Wars humor.
The truth is, I was disappointed with the last Star
Wars film. I do not like the zealotous fanatics that
have flocked under the Star Wars banner (maybe cause I
see a little bit of me in them and I fear their
uncoolness also reflects in me.) Regardless I am and
ever will be a Star Wars fan, for that is the way I am
supposed to be. It's just a secret for now, so shhhh.
OK?
Katana