Sijun Forums :: View topic

CapnPyro · Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2001 4:31 pm

Hey there peoples, I havnt posted any art here in a long, long time. I've been drawin pencil comic art like mad recently (need.. to be.. professional..), so I havnt had much time for the digital stuff.

If you want to check out the other 5 pages or see a bigger one you can find them here

Thanks, and if someone wants to color it feel free, just let me see it when youre done :P

Visigothan · Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2001 4:37 pm

I like your work...I checked out the other pages...

Needs more boobies though.

Seraphire · Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2001 4:42 pm

Hey, Capn.

Anyone can play the anatomy crit. So I'll skip over that with the simple, "More practice, there."

But page layout.
I'm noticeing two large white areas on your pages here. I don't know if you intend them to be filled with text. They are in the first panel, and the second to last.
I like the angles you have going on in most of the panels. But be careful in the large bottem panel again. The rug, is created a border in the middle on the page.

I also really don't like how she is standing in that same panel. It is very stiff and off-balance. Her elbows shouldn't be outstretched like that. You lift with bent elbows.
Final panel. Her hand is seen on the rug. Where is her arm? If she is now holding the rug with one arm, and the other is at her side, then show that in the last panel as such.
Having the rug in the first panel is good. but more background might be better. A chandlier? A painting?

CapnPyro · Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2001 5:36 pm

Capn finishs his bowl of ramen and puts it aside

thanks for that visi, i stoped by your site.. ramenbudget.. and had to have some ramen

damn stuff gave me a headache, to much salt. thanks for takin a look btw

Sera- wow, big critique, thank ye. Let's see here, for the blank spot in the first panel the bed is right below that.. i dunno what to put there.. a painting or something is a good idea. the 2nd empty space is because my pages tend to get to crowded, so empty space can be a good thing. also i'd assume it would draw your eye to the carpet. her arm being extended when it should be bent pulling the carpet is a good catch, i didnt even notice that, but yah.. it should be. stiffens her up when shes like that. in the last part her hand is pulling the tapestry across, so you cant really see much else, so yah, her arm would be at her side. i need to work on my poses realism

[ June 08, 2001: Message edited by: CapnPyro ]

EviLToYLeT · Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2001 5:52 pm

Where's the nipple on the first picture?

I really like the story line so far.. Not sure if this would help composition in last cell.....but try darkening in the space to the right of the girl?

Anyway....what's behind the rug?! what's behindddd the rug?!?!

CapnPyro · Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2001 7:22 pm

toylet theres no nipples showin cause boobies hang down when they lean forward like that

im a great studier of such thing

and as for whats behind the tapestry... mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Seraphire · Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2001 8:05 pm

Trust me Capn, her nipples would be visible in that postition. I've spent alot of time studying them...

Visigothan · Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2001 8:22 pm

I've spent lots of time studying breasts too.

They're very enjoyable...

*evil laugh*

CapnPyro · Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2001 1:02 pm

well even if you could it wouldnt be good for samples.. i wanna keep it PG

and thanks for takin a look

Kaiju · Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2001 4:36 pm

You are improving with each page Capn. The linework is looking better and better. As far as the anatomy being discussed.. if they were fake you would see the nipples...natural you wouldn't see the nipple, but you probably would see the areola.

Dryfire · Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2001 7:10 pm

thats very very cool

shahar2k · Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2001 2:50 am

nice one, have you ever tried experimenting with diffrent borders on the panels?...

heh I have your E3 pass sitting on my desk, you know what, do you feel like coming here and getting it? cus I'm too cheap to spring for gas... (I know... that's the worse excuse I've ever heard)

Collosimo · Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2001 3:17 am

Well Well..

Nice to see you guys dedicated quite a discussion to 'visibility of nipples in various positions'...LOL by far the funniest subconcious sillyness I have seen.

Of course not caomplaining...

I like the drawing Capn... keep up the practice.. just keep going.. you are quite good. Almost at the stage when people will say wow thats good... Bit more work, and you'll be there.

n8 · Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2001 3:42 am

you say youve been drawing like mad...is that mad with a capital M??...ie. Joe Mad??..
hehehe...nipples rule

CapnPyro · Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2001 9:59 am

lol shahar, you cheap bum! i dont really need the pass tho, e3 ended a couple weeks ago

thanks again for takin a look guys

and no no, i havnt been drawing like Mad, maybe I've been drawing like Campbell! but i dont think thats an expression

Whew.. anyway, back to the drawing board..