[Periadam]

I have a problem... and it's a bit of a serious one, and I don't expect any advice, though it would be welcome if anybody wants to offer any.

A friend of mine wants to kill herself... and it's quite common knowledge among our circle. She wants to do this because, well, I'm not entirely sure why. I guess it's because she doesn't think she has anything to live for. Just yesterday she wanted to go down to the drug store so she could get a bottle of aspirin and take the whole thing. She tried again just a couple weeks ago, and spent a day in the hospital. Now it's gotten worse because her ex-boyfriend (who she still believes she's in love with I might add) is dating somebody else. He still cares about her, but not like that, and he's asked me to keep an eye on her.

I don't know about you... but I sure as hell don't need this right now. Exams are coming up and portfolios are due, and I have more to do than I'd like. But it isn't like I can just ignore it.

Bah. Ok, my rant's done.

And just realized that probably sounds really insensitive... so I'll make it clear that I am very worried about her, but I'm just in a bad mood right now.
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Under communism, man exploits man. Under capitalism, it's just the opposite.

Peri.

[oDD]

If i can tell anything. if a person that i know , care about , and see from time to time would kill herself i would have blamed myself for the rest of my life. You have to help her. From what youre saying situation looks serious.

Well if I were you i would try to talk with her. Ask here how is she feeling. Youre saying youre don't know for sure whats in her mind. Talk with her and know the problem better. Tell her that death don't solves any problems. Tell her that her situation isn't so bad. And tell her that you care about her as a friend and it would hurt you if she would killed herself.

I don't know her and so it's hard for me to help you. But the truth is if she would find another boyfriend things would look completely diffrent...
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portfolio | art blog

[dr . bang]

ask her if:

her parent died? did she become blind? is she going to get deported? kick out of her home? life senteced prison? did all of the thing i mentioned happen at once?.......etc

[Giant Hamster]

my not insensitive, but logical side: Fuck it, you've got things to do.

my sensitive side: It's no fun when a friend wants to kill themselves...really hurts. =\

Secondly: Don't get stressed out over other people, no one's worth stressing over. nothing is worth stress.

Lastly: People that want to commit suicide just go and do it, people that drag it out like this really just want attention. sure, you could say someone's scared of dying, but those who truely want to simply up-jump and fall...no second thoughts. I think she just wants to be the center or something, I dunno. If she truely has some kind of strange psychosis...get her a session with a therapist and tell her she really has to give to the session for it to work...cause being closed up and locked makes therapy worthless.

[Awetopsy]

I had a friend who commited suicide.

Suicide may seem like the "easy" way out.. but all it does is takes your problems and dumps them on everyone whos ever cared for you. Its seflish.

I know that sounds uncaring, and Im not trying to be insensitive. If my guess is right, she needs somebody to show her respect, to love her enough to say whatever is neccessary to help her think straight again, even if it hurts a little.

Tell her you care, but tell her that she would be hurting everybody else. If she asks who? well you. and anyone in your circle of friends, her "ex", her parents (even if she hates them, she would cause their suffering like no one ever imagined), encourage her to seek help, a small church group maybe? The thing is to get her into some sort of program that will help.

Everyone has something to live for, some just never find that "something", and some refuse to.

Periadam, I will always regret not reaching out to help my friend who now can never come back. Please do anything you need to help her. You wont regret it. honestly.

[Gort]

I normally don't do this, but here goes:

Get family and friends together and intervene! If you care about her, you'll do everything you can to see that she seeks professional help.

Really
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- Tom Carter

"You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf" - Jack Kornfield

[Ragnarok]

First, every case is different. We can try to help in general ways, but you are the only who knows every single aspect of it.

That said, I'd like to help you. Two exfriends of mine wanted to kill themselves. Both were girls and teenagers. The first one wanted attention, wanted to be the center of the group of friend she once was, and her way to reaching it was that. Everybody believed her when she said she was going to kill her, but at the end she didn't want to, just tried to call our attention so we could all be around her. It was selfish and hurted the feelings of the rest. She also eat a lot of aspirins...

The second is my ex girlfriend. She isn't a stable person emotionally. She needs to be next to someone always, she need to forget all her bad feelings being next to someone she "loves". It isn't love, its necessity. When she felt depressed she threatened me with suicide to the point I had to take her back from the window a couple of times. Afterwards, she would cry and apologize. It's not a funny situation. I once had to run from my house to hers, in the middle of the night on a tuesday because I thought she was going to jump. In the end, she just wanted to keep me next to her. I think she was going to go to therapy at last (I had told her about a couple of times, but she wanted to solve it through our relationship). I once was able to keep sit down while she threatened we with that. She didn't do it.

One day, a work partner of my father, woke up from the siesta and went towards the window. His son, when realized what was happening tried to stop him. He only got the trousers.

Maybe that can help you. When you are in the situation and feel she could do it, you don't think it's a fake, you just try to avoid it. If it's for attention, she is doing it "unconsciously". She feels "so bad she wants to kill herself" only trying to get something. Maybe she doesn't even know for sure. Maybe she's trying to be again with his exboyfriend. Or maybe it's for real. I don't know, but I give you my experience hoping you can learn something from it.
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"Ever forward, my darling wind." -Master Yuppa
Seigetsu

[Periadam]

All very good advice, people. Thanks... I've acutally been in this situation before with an ex-boyfriend. He was never as serious about it as my friend is now though. He always threatened, and I always talked him out of it, but I became a crutch then, and I had my own life, so I had to leave. The problem with people who feel like this is that there really is nothing you can say to get them to think straight again. I've found that most of the time they love their pain more than anything else in their lives, and they resist giving it up at every turn. Ultimately, they're the only ones who can make themselves happy, and there's nothing I (or anybody else) can say that will make it completely better for them again.

I've talked a lot with her ex, who is a really nice guy, and he's still her crutch like I was with my ex. She's really dragging him down, but in order to "let him out" she thinks killing herself would be a better solution than actually finding a reason to live so he wouldn't have to worry about her anymore.

The problem is that all I can do is swipe the pills and sharp things from her room, and hope she'll be ok. But if she's going to do it, she won't tell anybody. I can't be with her 24 hrs a day... and I'm paying 12 grand a year to be at university, and that's a hell of a lot of money to throw out the window with bad grades for not studying.

Ugh... I'm just needing to rant. I know what I need to do. Seems like almost everybody's been affected by this sort of thing.
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Under communism, man exploits man. Under capitalism, it's just the opposite.

Peri.

[soogarrush]

She needs to keep living till things go back to the norm (have a guy that loves her, and she loves him back).

show her a reason to live on, be her "guide" as discussed in my other thread...

[Drunken Monkey]

Get her to a psychiatrist. This is really the only thing that you can do to help her right now, if she is already exploring ways to off herself. This sort of thing happends when people walk around looking at things from negative angles for too long.

[Cleoric]

She needs a reason to live. Not people telling her it'll hurt them. That may put it off for a week or something, but it certainly won't cure anything. I fight with depression constantly and I know what she's feeling I'm sure. Just last week my Psychologist was contemplating putting me in the hospital for my safety.

She needs to find what's holding her back from finding a reason for her life to continue, and get rid of it. As it is now for me, I'm planning on giving all my video games to my brother, everything that kept me from looking for a reason to live, I'm getting rid of. I'm selling my old computer. I'm selling my BRAND new computer, I'm getting out of college, uncluttering my life, and taking off to another country to help OTHER people. Get my mind off myself and on to helping others. Hopefully it'll give me purpose and meaning to my life. Well, that's the plan. We'll see how that goes.

Anyhow, tell her to talk to someone about her problems, even if it's not you, SOMEONE. Preferably someone who isn't an idiot and won't say "you're just looking for attention, go kill yourself". Then maybe look into what's holding her back like I am doing.

(If I don't make any sense, or my post doesn't seem to have any meaning or purpose, I apologize. I can't write well put together thoughts. I assure you I had a reason for posting all of this, to help you help her.)
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Born diseased and wretched lives.
Live like kings, die like whores.

[Max]

If someone has got a problem the most important thing is to talk wit him/her.
Just talk about the problem. Talk talk talk. It's the best thing to do.

[Awetopsy]

A couple days ago I sat in a meeting with my Boss who used to be a school counsellor, during the meeting he drew out a little diagram to show us, which I think may help this situation.



our whole lives are this diagram, and we are stuck in this one little sliver of life called today as that little sliver slides toward the end of life.

Im assuming this girl you know is in her teens here, so she has a little bit of life behind her which is responsible for shaping her to what she is today.
but she has today, and the rest of her life to shape what she will be when she reaches the end of her life.

she has two choices today:

1) take all the crap thats happened before, all the stuff good and bad, and let it shape her into a bitter, self loathing person.. or

2) start taking control, today, of whats happened yesterday and start using it to shape herself into the woman she wishes she could be.

This is so for all of us. Although, when we are in the crap, we dont see that everybody else has crap to deal with, but everybody else does have crap to deal with. The successful people are the ones who take control of yesterdays garbage, hurts and issues and use it to make themselves better people.

[daeldren]

I dont know what it is anymore but Ive know a lot of teenage girls like this, maybe its just that horomone thing going on but I do know what type of situation your in. If I were you Id try and talk to someone about getting a psychiatrist for her because she could seriously have maybe depression or manic depression which is very hard to cure without help. Besides even though your her friend, and of course you care plenty about her there isnt much you can do except try and get her professional help because people in her situation usually cant even reason with anyone.

[soogarrush]

[[666]Flat]

Murphy was an optimist... and that diagram could reflect the real deal - but who could say it has to. The rest of your life may be a litte red spot as well, maybe a little bit bigger and a little bit more on the next highway where you're gonna crash your car into some lorry. The only true definition of a worthwhile being I stumbled across is, without any doubt: live every day like it was your last.

And damn, it could really be yer last, for fucks sake!
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[Awetopsy]

sure, you might be on at the last day of your life... everybodys life is different.. but the idea was to say that your attitude today makes your tomorrow.

[Hase]

1) make it clear that you won�t play any games, that you won�t be blackmailed by suicide attempts (because usually that�s exactly what it is). If you give in you�re reinforcing the behavior, it�ll probably happen again.

2) get professional help. once you�re at a point where someone attempts suicide a bit of talking over your problems usually doesn�t cut it anymore.

(3) you can�t die from aspirin)

[Giant Hamster]

ohyeah, a good way to keep people from being idiots and trying to kill themselves with pills:

Keep only childrens medicine. It works just fine if you take two instead of one and you can't die...ever. They package them in small enough amounts that taking a whole bottle will do nothing to you...it's there as a saftey percaution for children who decide they like the flavor of dimetap.

[Drunken Monkey]

People who haven't been through or don't understand depression should really keep their stupid mouths shut.

[Periadam]

Hase: You certainly can if you take 50 extra strength aspirin all at once.

She tried last night. I got back from the hospital a couple hours ago. She'll be ok... but frig. I have no idea what to do.

Her parents were called up from Halifax... I met them. Obviously, they were shaken up, because they hadn't known about her tendancies. She should be back home tomorrow, but they're planning on sending her to a psychiatrist outside of Sackville.

I just hope this never happens again
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Under communism, man exploits man. Under capitalism, it's just the opposite.

Peri.

[lalPOOO]

strange though, if I was going to commit sucicide, and I failed, I'd just keep trying. I mean shit, if you can't even kill your own self, its one more thing you suck at.

(thats just the insensitive part of me, also the part that is extreme sick of people who fake it, which I seriously doubt this person it.)

the sensitive part of me would probably waste hours trying to talk them out of it.